Dreams of the past

I dreamt.
I dreamt of our friendship.
A once upon a time kind of moment.

Emotionally burdened and defeated and yet; there you were to cheer me up.
Some emotions don't go away. Some are hard to replace with others.

Some people mean more to oneself then they believe.


I know it'll never be the same.
Until I find someone else. Someone I can open up to and trust.
When I one day stop shielding myself.

Trends.

I've noticed a lot of trends in this blog as it silently drifts through time after time.
I think about you a lot in Spring and Summer. Enough where I feel writing about it.

I think about how different we are...the things I wouldn't do with you or would do with you.
Some games that I would find myself enjoying playing with you.

I miss you. I really do. As a friend who I gave everything and trusted my secrets and emotions to.
I can't help but think over and over that I am stubborn and can't let it go.

Your smile and happiness brings an abundance of happiness to me.
I wish I could see you. To see your smile. To see your happiness.
Without suffer, without despair.

Sometimes....

I am happy and yet I feel the emptiness.
The joy of sharing an emotional connection.

The warmth and assurance of a significant other.
A smile so pleasing and warming that melts away all the pain and suffering.

Smiling in the Sunshine.

Sometimes I wish I could see you smile again.
After all these years; the distance that has grown between us. A friendship that no longer exists.
I ponder and wonder if my thoughts and words still reach you. Then I question whether it even matters or if you would even care.

After so many years; I can't escape feelings that made me feel relief and happiness.
I have never really been one to open much to others. Yet with you I was able to. I was able to joke about things and say silly things without being thrown out the window for it.

Or so I thought. Five years down the road and here I am. Stuck thinking about something that probably shouldn't matter to me. Yet it does. It has driven me to be caring for those that are around me more than ever. A simple smile can easily change a persons day. Even if it is for a few minutes.

Lost hopes, memories and feelings.
Even with the friendships, the care of others and the happiness other brings me. I sometimes feel an emptiness on the inside. Unable to find someone else and unable to reconnect with someone that I cared for so much; I felt a part of me fade away after we broke off communications.

There are so many tings I wish I could have said or didn't say. I wish I could have reached out to you but I didn't know how. I didn't want to bother you with the drowning of my own feelings for you.
My affection that grew from our friendship.

Your smile always makes me smile. Even just thinking about it I can't help but smile. It never escapes me how much you meant to me. Even if those feelings were never reciprocal.

Whether it is becuase I wish you were still in my life or I wish that I could find someone else to attain said happiness. I do not know.
I keep going in circles.

Things that don't work out.
People who don't understand.
I try.
I try to be there for people>
I try to be there for everyone.
I can only do so much.
I am only one person.
I only have so much energy.

I don't think about you as much as I did in the past.
I guess too busy and exhausted to let my mind wonder.

Sometimes...I listen to music....and I think about your arms wrapped around me.
The world drifts away to you resting your head on my shoulder.
Tapping your finger on my chest in rhythm to my heartbeat.

I just want to close my eyes and drift away in your embrace.
A hug that doens't go away.

I'm tired of being left at the curb.
Tired of being there for someone only to have them disappear on me.
Tired of running around in circles.

I just want to gaze into someones eyes and see that person look and smile back.

24.

Year after year I am astounded by the people I meet. Different people, different cultures and different personalities. We are all different people and we learn and grow from each others experiences and influence.

We are influenced by the people we surround ourselves with. We grow and experience life through our failures, successes and adventures.

Every corner is an opportunity in the waiting. Even if it seems like it is a failure.
I have met a great deal of people in the last several years from different communities of my passions. From electronics, computers, photography, paintball, and other activities and scholar.

Every day is a new day for something great to happen. Even if its small. I know that over the years I have helped and inspired friends in in my life. Whether it is in a small way or a big way; I like to think I've done a little to help. It truly gives me a warm smile and a jolt of happiness knowing that I positively influence people around me. A smile makes us stronger. Through the grime and darkness we remember a smile. Even in the darkest of times.

Enjoy life and take the adventures and the road unknown. Through success or failures we find a way. One way or the other to the other end of the bridge.Across the currents of a unsavory river.

We are who we are from past to present. Through our experiences, our network of friends and our passions. Without the passion or drive we lose sight of what we are wanting to do. We lose sight of the things that drive us to do what we do.

Never let others put you down. Sometimes you may find yourself in the dark cold rain. However, if you keep looking down; you may walk past someone with the light that wants to help you out. Keep your head up and don't lose hope.

Thank you to all the amazing people in the course of life. The good, the bad, the old, the present and the new. Without a journey everything is for naught. You have all been fantastic people one way or the other. Everyone is different.

As the people of Lego Land would say. "Everything is awesome!~~~"

It is important to take time for yourself and away from everything. Do not forget who you are. Do not let that feeling fade away. There will always be people who try to down you. Indirectly or because of incompatibility. Be true to yourself. Show yourself to others. You cannot change without being seen. Be happy and proud of yourself. Every little step is one step forward. Let negativity push you to strive better for more positive aspects in your life.

Thank you to each and every one of you.

The aura that glows. Forgotten feelings. Never ending hope.

Its amazing isn't it. We look back on all our faults and mistakes and sometimes wish we could have done better. That is the nature of the beast. Of life.

However, sometimes I wish I was not so sentimental and could just turn off my feelings. Year after year I try to occupy myself. To fill a spot that has been empty. Despite my close friends and all the likes. Affection drives us to a different corner of our mind.

Much has not changed but many things have grown and evolved. I grow weary of my emotions. Tired and relentless of hope, ideals and forgiveness. Through the ticking of time there are things we cannot change. Feelings that do not disappear no matter how much we move on. Stuck until we fill that missing gap.

Sometimes I wish I can turn these feelings off. Like you have, like you did. Like many others.
I am and forever will be a sentimental and emotionally willed person. Through and through even when it nibbles away at me. Sometimes I wish I didn't worry or overthink things.

Running around in circles. Chasing the same problems over and over again. Never giving up hope. Always willing to try. To find people that make us smile and be cheerful out of everyday busy lives. Those moments that remind us or I of the things we do and why we do them.

I am always worried of losing someone. I grow and find myself being attached to someone and always in the back of my mind I am worried of them being swooped away by someone else. More so now than ever with a busy schedule. I worry of being overly affectionate. I worry that I'm not doing enough. I worry of losing that sparkle that keeps two people together and they walk away. It happened once and many times since then. I simply do not have the same kind of energy as I once did. Forever lost in a well of broken trust and broken hope.

Ever since our falling out all those years ago I grew bitter and distrusting. Without hope in others or myself of emotional investment. I distanced myself from people and sometimes close friends as well. It took a long time to reclaim apart of that energy. Some forever lost with you. A close friend and someone whom I adored strongly with affection.

People ask me why I don't just forget about you and I tell them that is very hard to do so. It is our loss of friendship that further propelled me to make sure my friends are happy. That those I care about are happy. To those that I grow a liking to and grow affectionate of are happy. We all need that someone who brings a glow and a smile to our every tasks. As a significant other, a relationship or a friendship. I have been burned, scorned and left for a couple times. Even though they are small and all in passing; I try hard to make things right. Even if I am only a stepping stone.

I am full of energy. If I put it all in a bucket; all I want to do is pour it over someone and tell them how much I like them. Maybe for once I'll stop over thinking and worrying. Maybe one day I'll have that faith come back.

I wish I could so easily forget the past like you do. Maybe then I wouldn't try to hold onto fragments of old memories and happiness. Who am I kidding though right? You found someone else to keep you company. Moving from old to new. I plundered and made mistakes and said stupid things. Indirectly pushing you away. I constantly blamed myself for it. There was always apart of me that wanted to pour my affection for you but I couldn't. Not with the way things were. Before I knew it; that chance disappeared and things were never the same since then.My biggest and worst ever fear that could happen between I and someone I truly and deeply cared for happened. That fear of which is a person turning around and walking the other direction without saying a word. Gone in a puff of smoke. Nothing but tattered cloth remaining.

One day, many years later I decided to stop trying. To admit to myself that there was no possibility of our friendship ever coming back together. That and my useless attempts probably just piss you off to no ends. Like everything I did and said after a certain point. All it was ever met with was anger and annoyance.
I stopped trying to care all together. I no longer said happy birthday to you. I stopped sending you merry christmas and happy new year text messages.

I wish I could just switch the feelings off and forget the reasons why I cherished our time and friendship together so much. All the pain and suffering. All the happy and silly times. Always knowing the affection was not mutual. Only our group of friends that knew about us. Knew how much it affected me. No one asked why we stopped hanging out. No one asked how you and I were doing.

I bet all you remember is of being mad at me. About all the times I annoyed you. I sometimes wonder if you remember any of the happy and funny moments. The times I tried to cheer you up when you were down or upset. All those silly and embarrassing moments. I felt happy and carefree around you.


I worry of pushing people away because I worry of being seen as needy or attention hogging.
I have been yelled by you so many times for little things that even to this day I still have a hard time shaking off those feelings. Deep down I worry about it happening. I worry about making someone I care about upset . I worry about them just turning around and disappearing. I sometimes shut myself away so I don't feel jealousy. To let myself collect my thoughts.

I finished watching the second season of Spice and Wolf II...after a long time of putting that show away. It reminded me of you too much that I couldn't keep watching it. I sometimes wonder what it'd be like if I bumped into you on the streets, at a store or at an event. I keep thinking you'd try to find was to push my buttons.

It is that kind of evening. As has this whole week. Stuck thinking about the past when my feelings in the current collide with insecurities. I worry about driving others away because I am frequently busy and not always being there.

Thoughts and reflections

Most of my stuff that I don't post here goes to http://quantum-creativity.blogspot.ca/

Since Xanga 2.0 is using WordPress which requires a membership. I haven't migrated over. Just yet.

Where did time go?

My first post of the year is in Jan and it is May already.
I guess I am pretty behind in posts eh?

Landed in Toronto

Touched down in Toronto Thursday at four Am PST.
Had a good day. Had breakfast with friend and his friend. Took a afternoon nap as we both have been pretty sleep deprived. All is well. We both hit bed early and feeling well rested now.

Shroker

Headphone amp Power Supply!

dedicated power supply for my Musical Fidelity X-Can V2 has arrived!.

Hand built by Rock Grotto from Scotland.

Pictures and some details to follow in another posting but damn!.

Early impressions: I am very impressed! As many people have suggested; this thing really does keep on the power and does not fade. The Little Pinkie SE is very well built externally and internally.
The sound keeps up and the details are not lost when the sound stage gets busy.

I will write more and get some photos later today.

End of 2012. Start of 2013.

I have not kept up with the likes of my blog as of late. Which is a little bit disappointing but I have been quite busy. 2013 will be a fun year and I look forward to it. A few things have happened in the last stretch of December and that has made me very excited.

2012 started out a bit slow and I set a few goals for myself but they were not fully achieved. However, I have had a progressive year. Although it did not go as smoothly as I wanted; I put down some anchor points that will help me through 2013. These are the anchor points that we need to use and remember how they effect us on our journey through life. Always remember how we progress from failures and success.

I didn't really accomplish some goals that I had set out. Did not really lose weight nor did I fully fix my sleeping but I look to adjust that this month. I have a lot to do and catch up on. What do I look forward to this new year? Getting healthy. I have to lose weight and get back in shape. It's not something to just think about as a goal or a joke. I should put the energy forward and be serious about it.

In the past year I have grown more confident, a bit more active and have taking initiative to get things done and meet new people. I have to carry that energy forward and make use of it. No more diddle daddle. The last several months has been very exciting. I have become a huge fan of Lindsey Stirling. She is a violinist who is very energetic and has a great personality! I got the pleasure to meet her in person when she played a concert here in Vancouver, BC. Least to say I was super excited. I've loved a lot of her pieces and her playing in person is full of energy and passion.

Lindsey Stirling performing at the Rio Theatre in Vancouver, BC, Canada

On top of that I got a CD and my violin case signed by her. It was truly an inspiring moment. I am very glad to have attended this concert and taken photos of her.
The rest can be found here : Lindsey Stirling Concert photo album.
To see Lindsey perform live and watching her passion and personality shine through her music, dancing and playing is very inspiring. It reminds us that it doesn't matter who tells us what we can and what we cannot do. We have to find it in ourselves to find the strength to go forward and achieve what we want.
Go down trying then to not have tried at all.

It is very frequent that we get put down by our own emotions. Our lingering expectations and hopes for something in hoping that our effort and time is recognized by others. There are times you think to yourself whether or not that time spent is worth it or not. If people even care. Sometimes it takes time for the progress to pay off. We get knocked to our knees but we have to climb our way back out. One has to look back on the past, the failures and the successes to learn from that experience to grow and progress forward.
Inspiration, motivation and passion is the fuel that a person needs to work towards their goals. Sometimes they are big goals and sometimes they are small goals we set for our daily routine.


I started working for a company local here in my city which has been fun. Like all workplaces there will be frustrating moments and times where I will really have to haul ass but it feels good to be there. What they hold for me in the future I am not sure but I look forward to it in the long run and we never know where it may or will take us. How this coincides with my future plans; I do not know but things will progress and I will find out. I really do look forward to promoting events and games in the local municipality and get the name out.

I got a bit of fun shooting a cabaret show in December for a friend and that was a lot of fun!. Cabaret shows are very fun to attend and watch. There is so many forms of dance and art.

Austin Jeng Photography Facebook Fan Page

All in all; 2012 could have been much better but I pulled out of a lot of slumps and I feel so much better emotionally and mentally. I do feel like I am striving forward and fixing a lot of problems that have been pulling me down in the last few years. Emotional slumps are the worst and to break out of that cycle has been a major relief. Sometimes you don't realize just how much you have connected with someone until they suddenly turn around on you and as time passes you watch all the bridges slowly burn away.

Life continues forward. Always remember to try to find the bright side of things, stay optimistic and objective. There are always things that will try to put us down and we just have to find that shining light and pull our way through. Friends, family and the communities we participate in are there to help us. Don't feel so  proud or be afraid to look weak to reach an arm out for a buddy to help you out. In the end; if those are the people who are criticizing you then you need to be looking for a different group of people. Look hard and dig around and generally (and hopefully) you find someone that can lend you a hand.

Have a good year everyone.
Good luck with life, school, family, work and our personal health.

Signing out,
Shroker

January posts

Alright, so the new year has passed and a few things I want to write are in slot to be done.

First up, will be my super long post about 2012 and how things have been for me and along with some nifty end of the year opportunities. I will do a short write up about my recently acquired Airsoft gun.

The KJ Works Tanio Koba M4A1. I have already put a few magazine worth of airsoft bbs through this system and I love it. Reading about it just makes me more and more happy as I delve into a very massive thread on ArnieAirsoft.

An article about 4 months in with my MILSIG Paradigm Pro. Absolute love. The people I play with and the atmosphere that surrounds me for this little section of Paintball is what keeps me rooted. It is fun and exciting in its own way. The Parabine has been shooting very well and will continue to operate and kick butt.

A stand-in article of my audio equipment. The "start up" posts of my headphones, amp, preamp and DAC is on hold but I will write what I think of them so far.

Nexus 7. Tech Sex. That is all. Well, short of my recent computer build overhaul last summer.

WOW. I AM REALLY BACKED UP IN POSTS.

African Penguins at the Vancouver Aquarium.

Signing off,
Shroker

Updates!

It has been a busy month and I will have some write-ups coming up!
I will be talking about the MILSIG M-Series Paradigm Pro 2012. How it has been so far and how I have enjoyed it.

On Saturday the 17th of November was the Lindsey Stirling concert in Vancouver, BC, Canada and my future employment with MILSIG Canada.

What is this? Clear skies!

The sun is out for the weekend and that means I should get my butt out of the house and enjoy this glorious weather. Going to go out to play some paintball tomorrow and snap some pictures. Buckle down and study and get bunch of work done. :)

MILSIG magazine collar comparsion

I should note that the magazines I am using is an older gen 19 round magazine for both MILSIG and RAP4.     Since the release of the MILSIG Paradigm Pro’s new magazine system, the square head collars, many people have asked the question “What is the difference between the round collars and the square collars?” “How do they operate from each other? Pros and Cons”.

    Throughout the years before the Paradigm Pro square head magazines were introduced it is frequent that people did not really have a clear understanding what the differences are between the RAP4 magazines and the MILSIG magazines. At most people knew they are interchangeable and compatible with each others markers. Thus the question is, what really separates the three magazines in terms of operation mechanics.

    I will start with the new MILSIG Paradigm Pro. The current square head magazines is designed for the Paradigm Pro What is new about the square head collar is the head is constructed from polymer. The only metal parts is collar detent and the spring that holds the detent bar up. The MILSIG square head collar replaces the ball bearing round collar system. There is a bar that runs lengthwise across the farther side of the opening with both ends of the bar protruding out the sides of collar body a little bit. When the magazine is inserted into the magwell; there is a little ramp within that will push the bar down as the magazine is inserted. The balls than are clear to enter the chamber without being hindered by anything.

                                                                 
    In comparison to the round head feedneck collars; the round collars uses 3 ball bearings to hold the balls in place. When the collar is depressed it creates room for the ball bears to “roll back”. With the spring pushing the paintball rounds upwards , the paintballs squeeze through and then is chambered by the bolt. The problem with the ball bearing design is shooting low to mid-grade paintball or paintball that have not been storaged properly. These are the paintballs that are oblong, dimpled or a shape that is not spherical. The problem is non-uniform paintballs get stuck in the ball bearings which leads to either a misfeed or a ball chop. 

    The RAP4 magazine uses 6 ball bearings as opposed to the MILSIG’s 3 ball bearing collar. However, the RAP4 ball bearings are smaller than the MILSIG ball bearings and this leads to problems with smaller paintballs. In my personal experience when storing the magazines upside down (feedneck facing downwards) smaller paintballs in the 0.679 caliber region will roll out past the ball bearings. This is the main difference I have discovered between the MILSIG and the RAP4 round collar feedneck and can lead to problems for some users. The RAP4 has a shorter collar clip and the MILSIG round feed neck has a taller collar clip.

                                                                 
    I hope this helps clear up some confusion between the differences in the magazines. I often hear people wonder what the differences are between the RAP4 and the MILSIG magazines and excluding the internal mechanics, physical differences of the winder and what not, the feedneck ball bearings is the biggest difference.

In the next article I will talk about the MILSIG Paradigm Pro magazine in detail. Stay tuned and thank you for reading!. Visit www.magfedpb.com for more magazine-fed paintball information!

MILSIG Paradigm Pro - First Impressions

On Friday, 28th of September 2012, I picked up the Paradigm Pro from the MILSIG Canada office. I have been eagerly waiting for this ever since it was announced and after decisions and questions from announcement to release, it is now in my possession.

I should note I will be mostly writing this in comparison to my Paradigm 1. The K-Series is roughly the same size give or take.

This passing Saturday I brought it down to my local paintball field, North Shore Paintball where people were anxiously awaiting for me to show them this new toy. My initial impressions when I brought the Paradigm Pro home is the look and feel. The coating is a different from the Paradigm 1 nor the K-Series Mk II. It has a nice texture and feel to it in its own form. The platform has been working out and shedded some weight!. The Paradigm Pro is lighter than the Paradigm 1 and K-Series Mk 1 and features a brand new one piece, 400mm rifled barrel which has been rifled for First Strike rounds and of course, is First Strike round capable! The marker is also equipped with MILSIG’s new spool-valve blow forward internals known as the HEAT core.

Paradigm Pro @ North Shore Paintball , Vancouver, BC

The new square head magazines for the Paradigm Pro is a big improvement over the traditional round magazine heads. The traditional round collar heads have 3 ball bearings that retain the rounds and thus occasionally you could get oblong balls stuck in the bearings. This would result in either a misfeed or a chop. The new square head magazine collar uses a sliding bar so when the magazine enters the chamber; the bar is depressed allowing the rounds to be fed and chambered. This eliminates (I would hope so) a lot of misfeed issues. The user does not have to worry as much about oblong shaped balls getting stuck during feeding.

The Paradigm Pro features a nice egro grip handle and a smooth trigger pull. Although I think in the future having a switch safety will be pretty wicked. That just complicates the mechanical aspect of it. The trigger has a small amount of slack giving you ample amount of space to get to the razors edge and then a smooth pull to the rear to fire.

The weight of the Paradigm Pro has been reduced. I don’t have the exact numbers yet but reciever of the Paradigm Pro vrs the Paradigm 1 is noticable and feels ligther and more versatile. Not having that steel hammer in the action group probably helped reduced the weight too.

In the next part I will write about the magazines, the operations, advantages and disadvantages (that I have found so far, although so far I have not found any negatives yet).
I am looking forward to more games with the Paradigm Pro. Overall I am impressed at the overall build. It feels solid, balanced weight and operates quite smoothly. The sound report is also not as loud as the previous K and M series markers and does not blurp when the marker is out of air.

MILSIG Paradigm Pro "unboxing"

Here it is, everybody. The MILSIG Paradigm Pro. Although this is belated from the day I actually got it. I have no had a chance to do a video of it. Slowly starting to get into the whole video aspect of things.

I am eagerly waiting for this upcoming weekend to come up so I can play. :) Anyhow; through the series I will be doing videos of shooting, reloads, dry fire with reloads and anything else that I can come up with. Magazine overview and the marker overview itself. Some will be more in-depth and some videos will be just a video of me doing something.

Upcoming posts!

     In the next week or two. I am hoping to get some posts up. I will be putting out the first part of MILSIG's new flagship marker, the Paradigm Pro. I also will be writing my little adventure into modifying my Musical Fidelity X-Can V2. Literally not having ever learned how to solder it was quite an adventure. I know eh, someone who loves electronics and loves building stuff as much as I do, I have never learnt how to use a solder nor solder anything. Never got the chance. Least to say, it went pretty well. I did a lot of reading, videos and asked my friends for advice and help. The overall result went smoothly and I did not end up with any cold joints!

Northshore Paintball - May 6th 2012.

    The weather was peaking beautifully on Sunday. On Saturday I was contemplating if I wanted to go because I was feeling sore from basketball on Friday. However, this Sunday is the first Sunday of the month which means free entry for gun owners. I had to break the trend of being lazy and I figured with the way things have been lately I am going to go. I woke up in the morning around 0800 and looked out to the window I saw the sun shining in.

    However, that morning I'm still feeling sore and did not really want to be running around carrying a marker that weights 3kgs and probably 10lbs on my chest rig. I cleaned my pump off and packed it in my bag and put it into the car along with my Milsig. I arrived at the field around 1100 and parked my car. A fair amount of people already have arrived and I'm thinking today won't go too badly. A group of young kids had a planned a birthday party and a few scattered group of renters. I unpacked my pump, put my knee pads on and then went to air up my tanks. After the air tanks were filled up I went to grab my pump, put my mask on and went to the chrony range. A moment of truth awaits me as I cock my pump and put it over the chrony. HUZZAH! My pump is working! (I will be talking about this a bit more in a different post). After a good year and a half since I put it together. With the help of various friends with their knowledge and experience; have given me insight in figuring out a few extra steps to getting my pump working. This is great because I don't have to run my Milsig setup for the day. Saves me having to lug all that weight around!

    There I am excited to get the day started as some of the regulars start to show up. First game of the day for me starts with Two Fort flag push. We started on the right hand side (facing down the field), Kiernan and I went up the left side of our spawn towards the field exit and it was a mad rush as we started to engage their team. Kiernan is in the front while I am in the rear covering his open side on the right. For the most part he and another team mate (I don't know how to spell his name!) is moving up around the left an all of a sudden Russel pops over the barricade. I see Russel trying to stay tucked in behind a tree as he tries to shoot Kiernan. I line up my marker and fire two shots. I miss a little bit so I adjust my position to be a bit more stable; I wait for a clear shot; just as Russel moved leaned forward I fire a shot and splat. The paintball hits him right in the masks mouth guard. At this point I am grinning massively because not only did my shot hit someone at distance; I hit Russel!. Overcome with joy we finished the game and won via elimination. For the rest of the day I could not stop being joyful. It felt right that after such a long time the pump is finally working. This also meant that I did not have to use my Milsig gear for the day. The game ended and we all met up, refilling our airtanks and the likes and discussed the game. It is always great to start the day with a good game. It gets your mood going and in my case I felt fantastic

    The day went along pretty progressive and nicely. I got out of the house despite being sore and played for good portion of the day. As the field got really busy I decided to take a break and help the staff out. They needed someone to man the air station while they dealt with the front counter. Throughout the whole day I reveled in the fact my pump is finally hitting the sweet spot. All I need to do is fine tune it but other then that it felt great. I hit the field next Sunday and I look forward to putting the pump through its paces. The highlight of the day was smacking Russel in the face with a shot. It feels like a fire has been relit after my pump clicked together. Anyhow, I will have a post more about my pump coming up next seeing as I kept mentioning about it but really that was the main highlight of the day. :P

Objective for February

    School started in the first week of January and my goal among many things is to fully cut back on gaming. This also means spending more time to myself and not trying to run amuck doing things for others and maybe cut down on hanging out when I should be doing productive work. Since the start of the 2012 I have taken things in positive light.


    We all underestimate how important it is to get the right amount of sleep. We try to burn the midnight oil thinking that we need to cram as much information into our head before we sleep. That usually does not work out because you end up impending your short-term memory. Your brain is working on fumes and is not able to recall functions as fast. The more work a person uses their mental energy consciously and/or subconsciously they will feel more drained when they do not get the appropriate amounts of sleep.


    My goals for February is to get into bed by 10pm on the weekdays and probably 11pm or 12am the latest on weekends. Depending I might just keep it at 2200 across the board. It doesn't matter if I feel like I didn't do enough work. On the long run you want to carry your energy over instead of expending it all and running dry.
Cutting back on gaming and getting the proper rest is required. With that said, I shall go sleep.


Shroker

School!

    I have been pretty busy with school lately and still trying to work out the whole getting to bed thing and just knowing when to ignore people and getting into bed myself. One can only do so much but never comprise yourself too much. Especially when you know its an issue.

    Quantum Creativity is my little blog/journal thing I started up last month. When I get around to it I usually write in my journal and decided that some of them I might write into here and expand on the topic. I sometimes will just write what is on my mind or my feelings. Sort of similar to my Xanga but different in a way. Anyways, I hope my project continues to grow and create a place for friends and friends of friends to find interestin artciles to read about. Pictures that I might put up of my own or others or even music and other art related things.

    Shroker's Corner will hopefully grow once I get it going. I know its not as grand as I make it out to be but I can hope right? I know I have some friends who enjoy the stuff I put up so who knows!.

Shroker